So There Is Football, And There Is Football Right?

And then, there is football. Ah football, the universal game. What bullshit. Football is not universal at all. I can prove it.

See over here in the normal part of Australia, we have football, and aerial ping pong, and that other girls game where you arent supposed to tackle anyone to the ground....what the? How the hell is that football? Theres League, thats football. Then theres Rugby, thats union, still a passable game but for the girls who arent good enough to play League. Theres AFL, referred to by all Queenslanders and Most of NSW's as aerial ping pong. And then there is lil kiddy saturday morning soccer, thats football too. Thats our football over here. And we do love our football here. State of Origin, never been a better game. Show your pride, wear your colors, beat the crap out of some guy down the pub cos he's fronted in a blues shirt when no self respectin qlder would ever be caught in blue. When the deep throaty roar of QUEENSLANDER can be heard for miles around. When even women sit down and watch the footy with their men and speak all manner of talk that men usually have to phone those 1900 numbers to listen to. Some of the greatest sex in a mans life happens after game three of State of Origin, provided Qld won of course. Its every queensland mans fantasy to get laid on the field of Lang Park, ok it may have changd its name a few times, but it will always be Lang Park to a queenslander, and it will always be one of the seven wonders of the world to a queenslander. Queenslanders know, Lang Park for football, MCG for cricket. Its the right way to do things.

No one loves the hometown derby more than a queenslander. Bronco's v the Cowboys. See, the Bronco's were our first team. They were the ones who took the football scene from the NSW guys and realllllly turned it into a game. The Bronco's are the historical favourite of the Queenslander. Then the Cowboys came along. The North Queensland Cowboys to be precise. And this is where the girls realllly took up watching football. Nothin a Queensland girl loves more than a cowboy. However, the Cowboys, they wear blue. And no self respecting Queenslander would ever wear blue. But we girls, we let that slilde, cos the Cowboys, have gone and picked every hot lookin League man they can find, put em all in the one team and voila, a new reason to watch football is born. Ask any queensland man about the Cowboys and they'll tell you they are ok, but the Bronco's are the go. Thats cos they wear blue. They wont actually tell you that. But thats the reason. Even tho the Cowboys actually epitomise everything good about Queensland, they have their home ground in the tropics, its hot and its steamy and its full of gorgeous hhhhhot men runnin around gettin the job done, the Cowboys just cant be Queenslands fav team. Sigh. Even as a girl I realise this. The Cowboys look good, the Bronco's are good. See the difference?? And its all because of those damn blue colors. Someone should get onto their sponsors and get that color out of there.

AFL? Who? What?? Ok, I was born in Victoria. I grew up watching AFL. I spose deep down im a pussyCAT from Geelong. But, I just dont understand that game no matter how hard I try. And AFL should be what I would like. I mean, have you ever noticed that there is not one AFL player who hasnt got big muscly arms that could just pin you up against a wall Patrick Swayze in Roadhouse style and make all your fantasies come true, ONE FREAKING HANDED??? And they do run a lot. And they take those hard hits pretty good. You know what the problem is? AFL players, they just keep going forwards. Head towards the goal posts. And do it again and again and again. League players tho, they know whats going on. Sometimes you gotta go backwards before you head for the goal posts. Sometimes, you gotta play a lil strategy. Sometimes you gotta head for the goal posts and veer right. Then Left. Then backwards again. Sometimes you gotta be so close to the goal posts the only way to actually score, is to go backwards and come at it from a different angle. Then you go forwards so you are so close you can actually touch the line, but you gotta go back a lil bit before you cross over it.

And that, is why there will always be more women fans of League than there is of AFL. Football, being the man's second favourite way to pass time, copping a blowjob being number one of course, is all about sex. AFL, while full of energy and rather exciting, just brings the ball down the field and heads for the goal posts. And if they dont score a goal, they just do it again until they do. They even get points for not scoring a goal. Sounds like a man invented that game! But League, league is all about getting it right first time round. And taking it backwards and trying a different path if the first one isnt working. League doesnt give you points if you dont score. League makes you cross the line BEFORE you can evn try for the goal!

Thought for this moment....I love football.

Thought for the moment....