So I Went To See My Greek Friend Right

For coffee. Its a usual occurence. I know, I know, I swore off coffee, but Ive since clarified this with myself. Ive sworn off the 18 cups a day I used to drink. The very occassional one is ok. So thats what I did. Oh dear lord, how I've missed my latte on skinny.....sigh.

Anyways, so I says to Greek Friend, right, Ive gone and lost 8kgs, how do I look? I do the required spin around...and he says fine. I says, its not too much is it? See, the thing to remember here is, with an ass like mine, the roundedness of it, becomes a lil more pronounced the skinnier I get. And, Ive gone to a lot of trouble to square off my shoulders, so Im tryin to look super proportioned. Greek Friend, says, no thats fine. NO more though. I says, no more? But I was gonna go with just three more, for now. Three more is my goal and then IM happy to sit on it for a while.

But, says Greek Friend, your ass will disappear. Lets go out for lunch next week. I says, oh Im onto your plan. You wanna fatten me up again, so My ass gets bigger. Greek Friend, I guess you have realised, likes a 'well rounded ass'. I says, next thing I know, you will be taking me home to mama, who will be ...oh look at you, you poor thing, eat, eat more...eat eat eat!.....He says hes too scared to introduce me to his mama.....

Which brings me to my next point....am I scary? I must be scary. Why else would a friend not want to introduce me to his mother? I am arent I? Im scary. Yay. OH dear, thats not good. Though I should have realised it before. Possibly the reason why men are intimidated by me, and my bastard husbands are happy to be shot of me. Im scary. How come Im scary? I dont understand. Whats so scary about me? I am, afterall, just a girl. How on earth could I be scary?

Oh ok, so Im a sorta used to being single sort of woman. I make do with what I have, or I do it myself. I can weild barbeque tongs like no man can. I cut n polish my own car. Hell I pay my own bills! Is that so scary? Ive single handedly raised two kids, and so far not a whole lot of blood has been shed. I have four boxing bags, three heavy, and one speedbag. I treat my dog like a dog, not like another child. I have a vibrator for god sake and Im not afraid to admit it. Is that so damn scary?

Whats so damn scary??

Thought for the moment.....Dont answer that.