Well thats how it seems to me. I have these guy friends ok. And they are all taken. Happily too I might add. However, they all say the same thing. Their girls dont seem to put out. Now, Im a girl, and I understand that men say girls dont put out when what they really mean is girls dont put out enough.
Im also girl enough to understand that put out is not a great term to use, but Im the writer here, and far as I can work out, put out is a lot easier to type than 'express their love in a physical sense', ok, so work with me alright??
So theres this friend of mine, he's always been a known playboy. In fact, he wont even take his lovely girlfriend back to his hometown in case his 'past' happens to be mentioned. Though, of course, how she could not know about it is beyond me. He spent a few years attempting to hook this girl, and he certainly didnt do those years celibate. She must know. The real reason he cant take her home? The man's penis is famous. It has a huge reputation. For being huge. Ive seen it, it is indeed huge. Ok, Ive not seen it in fighting form, just this particular friend had a shocker of apool game with me once, and got pantsed. You know, you dont sink a ball and you have to drop your pants and lap the table? Oh cmon, it is so standard rules. Anyway. He lost, I got the view. Its huge. And its reputation does well precede him. He just doesnt want anyone sayin to his girlfriend *lucky thing!!* gee your man's penis is famous round here. But, the thing here is, he reckons, she doesnt put out much. He'd be lucky to be takin his reputation out for a wander more than once a week. Ok. Its probably not even that much. Hell bbh2 complained longly and loudly if his reputation wasnt out three times a day. I think bbh2 might have had it a lot gooder than he originally thought.
I go on.......theres this other friend of mine. He's just your average nice guy. Ok, hes not at all average. There is more than average about this friend. He's quite the nicest guy Ive ever known. And the sweetest. He'd give you the shirt off his own back, and the pants off his own penis if he thought you needed them, but, cos hes such a nice guy, he'd do it with his back turned. See? Anyways, hes married with two kids. Doesnt complain he doesnt get any. Just mentioned once that his wife hasnt been at all keen since the second baby came along....FIVE AND HALF YEARS AGO. I actually said, you mean, you havent, ....for five and half years? He changed the subject. See, I told you, hes just a nice guy and way above average. Way above.
How bout my friend Mr Fabulous? If he isnt a hugh wannabe, no one is. The man has more girls in his bed than hugh has....In fact, Id lay money on hugh not even coming close to this one. But heres the thing, Mr Fabulous decided one day, he'd had a gutful of the 'good life' as he put it, and thought it was time he wanted the 'real life'. I love him. I do. He knows his stuff. Anyways, he finds himself suddenly attracted to this particular lass, who he then dates solidly for 6 weeks before they hit the bedroom. 6 weeks? This from the man who didnt used to wait 6 minutes before gettin it on. Then, he mentions to me, while the action is fabulous *why wouldnt it be, he is afterall Mr Fabulous??* when he does get it, he doesnt get it as much as he thought he might. Apparently thats also a once a week number......
So ....there we have it, a lil look at some of my friends and their sexual habits, which to me, says......once a week seems about the norm. Is once a week enough?
More importantly, the purpose of this blog, why do i know this? Thats the important thing here, why do I know the sexual habits of my friends??? Now, Im a good friend, IM honest and open and I dont mind chattin about anything and everything. I'll lend a hand anywhere I can. I'll provide advice always with the caution that Im a twice divorced single woman so any advice I give cant actually be counted on, because If I knew what I was on about, I wouldnt be twice divorced and single today would I?
Ive come up with a few theories here. They discuss these things with me, because they are after the female view? Well thats not gonna help them much. Im about as far from the average female as you can get.
They tell me because they want me to know that there are indeed different sorts of men out there and I should not settle for anything less than brilliant? I like this theory the most, because my male friends? They love me. And well they should. Im a loveable sort of person. I am so. Shut up Jayne, why am I even friends with you?
They tell me cos they want just want someone to talk to, tellin your mates you aint gettin any, isnt a very manly thing to do. TElling your mates your getting more than they are, is the blokey thing to do. But these friends of mine, aint blokes. They are men. And I love them all the more for it.
They tell me cos they want to get into my knickies on the side......I spose its a remote possibility, or would be, if they weren the people they are. Which they are. So its not actually a possibility. I dont care what Harry met Sally says. Men and women can so be friends without the sex getting involved. As long as the man has a girlfriend, a wife, or both and neither of them are the female he's attempting to be friends with.
So now im left thinking to myself, this may be the trouble. If once a week, is about normal, and Im used to bbh2's three times a day demands.....then Im obviously putting out tooo much which is why Im considred intimidating. I know, youd think it would sound more like a dream, if all men do is ccomplain they dont get enough right?
Ive totallly lost my train of thought, perhaps I need to go back to bed for the day?
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