Which is good, because I was sitting right by the phone NOT waiting for a contact from my date of last night. It said, Good MOrning, so what happend last night?
What happened last night? WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT? Well buddy you were a complete tosser and ever so freaking rude to me. Ive no idea whats up your ass. How can you possibly have such a good night, laughing and talking , a little flirting with a beautiful intoxicating woman like me *hey they are your words mate I aint just makin this crap up* and hit on her with intent, then announce you dont want to see me on a permanent regular basis.....What do you mean what happened last night?? See, if you hadnt of snogged me, I could understand. Possibly you just didnt find me attractive. *get some damn glasses im hot*. I could understand if I had been the one doing all the hitting on you, because perhaps you were just being too polite to turn me down. BUT IT WASNT ME. IT WAS YOU. YOu came onto me. And not just the once either. I know its not cos Im a sucky kisser. Im an awesome kisser. And I'll kiss anyone who doesnt think so just to prove it. Except Jayne. Why am I even friends with her? So mate, how bout you tell me what the hell happened last night???? Which part of your meat eating vegetarian pious prius driving buddhist self with a raging hard on thought saying you didnt want to see me on a regular permanent basis was going to be the beautiful ending to a beautiful night??
Obviously I didnt say any of that. To him at least. Gawd knows Ive said it plenty enough times around here, but I didnt say any of that to him. Why? Theres no point. I dont want to have to plead my case. Beg for his attentions. Be all desperate and down on myself worrying if im all inadequate or decidedly unpretty. If he isnt interested, then he isnt interested and no amount of going in to it is going to change his mind. Or his non intentions. So I texted him back. I said.....I had a great time right up til you said you didnt want to see me on a permenent regular basis, it made me uncomfortable and I went home.
He texted me back again.....remember that whole paragraph up there about how no amount of toing and froing was going to change his mind anyway? How much of a prophecy was that. He texted back with....Fair enough, your right that is how I feel.
Which successfully left me feeling all inadequate and decidedly unpretty. Im so glad Im not even friends with him. Cos as much as I wonder why Im even friends with Jayne, she never makes me feel inadequate or decidedly unpretty.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
So That Was Weird Right
Ah dinner. Its a funnny way to spend time together. Heres how mine went.
Dinner, was at a trendy on the water spot known for its collection of ugly people full of their own self importance. Or perhaps thats just how I saw it. Ugly people is not kind of me. But, I was the most beautiful one there. And thats not a word of lie or a brag. Trendy people, it seems, are not half as good looking as television leads me to believe. Trendy people though, carry those handbags with the G on it, you must have seen them. And trendy people wear strappy stiletto type shoes. And trendy people wear nothing but black on the girls and brown on the boys. Thats it. Trendy people dont order a vodka straight up. They might drink it, but they give it a strange trendy sort of name, something like, Firecracker....or soemthing like that anyway. I stayed well away from the bar.......
Anyways, so there I am, sitting there with my date. Who I love. He, is now full of MORE self importance because hes sitting there with me, the most beautiful girl in the whole room. Other men were giving him strange looks, you know the one, the one where they decide to themselves that he's either rich or got a super extra huge advantage in their pants to score a girl like that......
Im wearing the best ever 20 bucks I ever spent. Thats my new black dress. Its fabulous. IN fact, the last time I wore that dress I was greeted with the words, My God YOu're Gorgeous. This time I was greeted with the buddhist equivalent of My God You are Beautiful. Beautiful. He calls me beautiful. And dont forget intoxicating. I love him and I want to have his babies.
So anyway, we have a fabulous dinner, we laugh, we tell stories, I do not offend anyone at all, which is apparently a big plus and actually noticed because he suggests I come back to his place ostensibly to see his sustainability projects. This I assume is the meat eating vegetarian buddhist version of offering to show me his etchings. Which Im all for, I mean, I love him. And we have had a great night, and, IM SINGLE DAMNIT, NOT A CAMEL. Im only slightly concerned about the state of Tasmania, but, I figure if Im as beautiful as he says, which I am, then he wont notice and to be honest even though Tasmania was burnt a whole week ago, it feels like its actually on fire after this wonderful evening.....
We head off for a drive in his prius, because I have expressed an interest in it. See how I have cleverly given the man an opportunity to reallllly speak about the things that are important to him? See how good a date I am? Ok so I know Jayne is going to give me a ribbin over the fact that Im actually impressed with said car. But it is mighty impressive all the toing and froin between power saving energy saving fuel saving environment saving bits and peices. I would never own one tho. For a start they cost a fortune, which I dont have. And with all the gadget thingys I would hate to see the repair bill if just one thing busted on it....This is when he tells me a funny little story about a segment they had on south park where they called it a Pious instead of a prius and also said it didnt emit smog into the atmosphere, it emitted smug. I tell him its funny cos its true. Then I tell him that the simpsons did a thing where someone invented a car that runs entirely on the drivers own sense of self importance. He thinks thats hilarious. This could have been a warning sign to me but I missed it. A walk on the beach we have, and he goes in for a very polite kiss. Its very nice. I love him. And Tasmania thinks its a bit of alright too.
Back to his place for a champagne and a spa.......which I have cleverly packed a lil something to wear in the spa for 'just in case' something like this was to come up. Oh its all going swimmingly it really is. Champagne, spa, company that has Tasmania on fire, and this time, in a very very good way. Theres more kissing of course, lots more.
And then it all goes to crap. I should point this out to you. He contacted me. He asked for my phone number. He invited me to canberra. He invited me to dinner. He said I was intoxicating and beautiful. He suggested we go back to his place. He politely kissed me. He 'seriusly with intent' kissed me.......and then he says WE SHOULD STOP. I says...what the? ARe you crazy? Why? Hello, Tasmania on fire here, you want to save the environment right, well how bout a lil bit of putting out the fire? I didnt say that bit out loud of course. I repeated the...what the part a few times. And thats when he says...i dont want to see you on a regular permanent basis.
Ok, he really is an eco warrior, cos that fire in Tasmania, went out faster than Jayne could possibly say IN YOUR FACE. Why am I even friends with her?
What the? What do you mean you dont want to see me on a regular permanent basis? What was all that about? Im not sure. Cos I promptly packed myself up, headed for the car, and left. If he had only kept his mouth shut then I wouldnt be here right now. I wouldnt have rung Jayne on my drive home practically sooking that some meat eating vegetarian prius driving buddhist who says Im beautiful and intoxicating doesnt actually want a ticket to Tasmania. WE finally come to the conclusion that we think I was supposed to say, oh me either, this is just a little bit of a fun fling, nothing to worry about. I certainly dont love you or want to have your babies. Which, I didnt say. I mean, sure, hes a lot of alright, and I love him, ok so he's not Mr Perfect, hes got a few faults, shut up Jayne, but I sure as hell arent about to hand logging rights to Tasmania over to someone who isnt at least Mr Fabulous.
Dinner, was at a trendy on the water spot known for its collection of ugly people full of their own self importance. Or perhaps thats just how I saw it. Ugly people is not kind of me. But, I was the most beautiful one there. And thats not a word of lie or a brag. Trendy people, it seems, are not half as good looking as television leads me to believe. Trendy people though, carry those handbags with the G on it, you must have seen them. And trendy people wear strappy stiletto type shoes. And trendy people wear nothing but black on the girls and brown on the boys. Thats it. Trendy people dont order a vodka straight up. They might drink it, but they give it a strange trendy sort of name, something like, Firecracker....or soemthing like that anyway. I stayed well away from the bar.......
Anyways, so there I am, sitting there with my date. Who I love. He, is now full of MORE self importance because hes sitting there with me, the most beautiful girl in the whole room. Other men were giving him strange looks, you know the one, the one where they decide to themselves that he's either rich or got a super extra huge advantage in their pants to score a girl like that......
Im wearing the best ever 20 bucks I ever spent. Thats my new black dress. Its fabulous. IN fact, the last time I wore that dress I was greeted with the words, My God YOu're Gorgeous. This time I was greeted with the buddhist equivalent of My God You are Beautiful. Beautiful. He calls me beautiful. And dont forget intoxicating. I love him and I want to have his babies.
So anyway, we have a fabulous dinner, we laugh, we tell stories, I do not offend anyone at all, which is apparently a big plus and actually noticed because he suggests I come back to his place ostensibly to see his sustainability projects. This I assume is the meat eating vegetarian buddhist version of offering to show me his etchings. Which Im all for, I mean, I love him. And we have had a great night, and, IM SINGLE DAMNIT, NOT A CAMEL. Im only slightly concerned about the state of Tasmania, but, I figure if Im as beautiful as he says, which I am, then he wont notice and to be honest even though Tasmania was burnt a whole week ago, it feels like its actually on fire after this wonderful evening.....
We head off for a drive in his prius, because I have expressed an interest in it. See how I have cleverly given the man an opportunity to reallllly speak about the things that are important to him? See how good a date I am? Ok so I know Jayne is going to give me a ribbin over the fact that Im actually impressed with said car. But it is mighty impressive all the toing and froin between power saving energy saving fuel saving environment saving bits and peices. I would never own one tho. For a start they cost a fortune, which I dont have. And with all the gadget thingys I would hate to see the repair bill if just one thing busted on it....This is when he tells me a funny little story about a segment they had on south park where they called it a Pious instead of a prius and also said it didnt emit smog into the atmosphere, it emitted smug. I tell him its funny cos its true. Then I tell him that the simpsons did a thing where someone invented a car that runs entirely on the drivers own sense of self importance. He thinks thats hilarious. This could have been a warning sign to me but I missed it. A walk on the beach we have, and he goes in for a very polite kiss. Its very nice. I love him. And Tasmania thinks its a bit of alright too.
Back to his place for a champagne and a spa.......which I have cleverly packed a lil something to wear in the spa for 'just in case' something like this was to come up. Oh its all going swimmingly it really is. Champagne, spa, company that has Tasmania on fire, and this time, in a very very good way. Theres more kissing of course, lots more.
And then it all goes to crap. I should point this out to you. He contacted me. He asked for my phone number. He invited me to canberra. He invited me to dinner. He said I was intoxicating and beautiful. He suggested we go back to his place. He politely kissed me. He 'seriusly with intent' kissed me.......and then he says WE SHOULD STOP. I says...what the? ARe you crazy? Why? Hello, Tasmania on fire here, you want to save the environment right, well how bout a lil bit of putting out the fire? I didnt say that bit out loud of course. I repeated the...what the part a few times. And thats when he says...i dont want to see you on a regular permanent basis.
Ok, he really is an eco warrior, cos that fire in Tasmania, went out faster than Jayne could possibly say IN YOUR FACE. Why am I even friends with her?
What the? What do you mean you dont want to see me on a regular permanent basis? What was all that about? Im not sure. Cos I promptly packed myself up, headed for the car, and left. If he had only kept his mouth shut then I wouldnt be here right now. I wouldnt have rung Jayne on my drive home practically sooking that some meat eating vegetarian prius driving buddhist who says Im beautiful and intoxicating doesnt actually want a ticket to Tasmania. WE finally come to the conclusion that we think I was supposed to say, oh me either, this is just a little bit of a fun fling, nothing to worry about. I certainly dont love you or want to have your babies. Which, I didnt say. I mean, sure, hes a lot of alright, and I love him, ok so he's not Mr Perfect, hes got a few faults, shut up Jayne, but I sure as hell arent about to hand logging rights to Tasmania over to someone who isnt at least Mr Fabulous.
Friday, January 30, 2009
So Im Going Out For Dinner Right
Because I love him. And he asked. Shut up Jayne, why am I even friends with you?
I will kick myself if I dont go because, well, I love him. And you know Im no good at choosing a man. I suck at it. And not in the good way. Shut up Jayne. This one though, bits of me say he's a bastard. Bits of me say I love him. So I will go out for dinner and see which bit of me is right.
Besides, whats the worst that could happen? He could be a bastard and I could have a night out on the town in my 'new hunting ground' without kids. If all goes to crap I shall keenly scan all other diners for any potentials to heal my broken heart on .........and order dessert. Afterall, he asked, so he's paying.
I will kick myself if I dont go because, well, I love him. And you know Im no good at choosing a man. I suck at it. And not in the good way. Shut up Jayne. This one though, bits of me say he's a bastard. Bits of me say I love him. So I will go out for dinner and see which bit of me is right.
Besides, whats the worst that could happen? He could be a bastard and I could have a night out on the town in my 'new hunting ground' without kids. If all goes to crap I shall keenly scan all other diners for any potentials to heal my broken heart on .........and order dessert. Afterall, he asked, so he's paying.
So I Blew It Right
And not what you think. I love him. He hates me. Well not necessarily me per se. Its a bit long winded.
So Im not going to Canberra right. And he better not ring me or I might change my mind right? So went yesterday. Of course he rang, the man finds me intoxicating, and no Jayne, not because I or he is actually intoxicated at the time...Why am I even friends with you?? Why wouldnt he ring. I told him I wasnt going to go. He says, well actually I wanted to rephrase the offer because Ive been thinking about it and I think it might have come out a bit wrong. He then prattled on about the company of the drive, like you said rd, and I suppose being a prius driver that drive was going to be extra long.........And he mentioned the latte date specifically, I would like to take you to my favourite cafe he says for that latte date. He, knows I like cricket, he doesnt so that should have been a dead set giveaway for me right there, but as Jayne says, the man has been undressing me with his words and not your usual Cor that dress is nice but it would look better on the floor sort of undressing, and so I wasnt paying that much attention. Back to the cricket thing, perhaps I would like to go to that oval they play that prime ministers eleven game at??? How thoughtful no? And theres a fantastic little restaurant he would love to share with me. These are the words he tells me. Not...I want you to come. But, I want to share these things with you. See, thats why I love him. He then says, however, I should say that my intention was always to pay for two hotel rooms, I dont think I actually mentioned that.
So Of course I changed my mind. It was just like rd said, and rd's my main man, even if he wont admit it to himself, everyone else can see it. Wake up rd. Where was I?
Oh yes, so Im decided im going. I says, could I phone you back in one second. Ring Ring, In YOUR FACE JAYNE IM GOING TO CANBERRA. Much what will I wear ensues, she insists I at least shave my legs. I insist I at least dye my hair and I have to run because Ive now got a lot of stuff to sort before my big Canberra trip.
So I phones him back. Ive reconsidered and would like to come to Canberra with you afterall I says.
Lovely he says. We chat some more. This is where it all goes downhill. Badly. My meat eating vegetarian prius driving buddhist is not quite as open to other viewpoints as he might like to think he is. And now Im feeling like crap because of it.
You see, he was busy telling me about his ...ok soemthing or other, life plan thingy, what hes up to next career wise and so on and so forth. Hes got a lot of pies that his fingers seem to be in. Then he says I might do ...blah blah....because it will make a lot of money. This is after telling me of the other things he will be doing. I says.....wait for it. Classic me moment, Im all about saying the wrong thing, though I never thought it was the wrong thing. I says....I would hate to do something just because it would make a lot of money.
He goes a bit quiet. He says, thats a little unrealistic. He says, he still has to make a living rah rah. I says, its not unrealistic, you dont neeeeed that money to live on. YOuve got your fingers in plenty of pies, making you plenty enough money, why do something just because it will make you more money? He says, he might go to bed now. I havent picked up yet that he's pissed at me. I says, ok, well I will hear from you tomorrow then. He says...............thats a long pause there, he says...yeah....um,...........yeah. I notice this pausing thing. I says....Or not?
He says...or not? whats that mean? I says, well you hesitated quite a lot there perhaps you changed your mind, chuckle chuckle, afterall its the middle of the morning, joke joke, the mans just tired, ha ha. Not to worry. He says.....HE SAYS, TRUTHFULLY I FIND THAT VIEWPOINT OFFENSIVE.
I says, why, it wasnt intended to cause offensive, i specifically said i would hate to do soemthing just for the money side, i didnt say I wouldnt. *you folk remember those disastrous jobs ive taken just for the money right?? but i had no other choices, he does*.
He then went on to tell me that he now feels quite degraded. I says, why would you? Besides, ive just spent the night telling you how admirable your ideas, and your plans are, why would you now assume Im degrading you? I cant remember what happened next, but he said, i think i should just go to bed. I says.....GOD IM AN IDIOT WHY DID I SAY THIS?? I says, ok, well i apologise if you took offense, it was not intended to be derogatory in anyway. He says goodnight. I says goodnight.
and there you have it. I blew it. So I didnt bother dyeing my hair or shaving my legs. Shut up Jayne. Dont think you can laugh, youve now got a date for Valentines Day. me. im pathetic. Why are you even friends with me??
So Im not going to Canberra right. And he better not ring me or I might change my mind right? So went yesterday. Of course he rang, the man finds me intoxicating, and no Jayne, not because I or he is actually intoxicated at the time...Why am I even friends with you?? Why wouldnt he ring. I told him I wasnt going to go. He says, well actually I wanted to rephrase the offer because Ive been thinking about it and I think it might have come out a bit wrong. He then prattled on about the company of the drive, like you said rd, and I suppose being a prius driver that drive was going to be extra long.........And he mentioned the latte date specifically, I would like to take you to my favourite cafe he says for that latte date. He, knows I like cricket, he doesnt so that should have been a dead set giveaway for me right there, but as Jayne says, the man has been undressing me with his words and not your usual Cor that dress is nice but it would look better on the floor sort of undressing, and so I wasnt paying that much attention. Back to the cricket thing, perhaps I would like to go to that oval they play that prime ministers eleven game at??? How thoughtful no? And theres a fantastic little restaurant he would love to share with me. These are the words he tells me. Not...I want you to come. But, I want to share these things with you. See, thats why I love him. He then says, however, I should say that my intention was always to pay for two hotel rooms, I dont think I actually mentioned that.
So Of course I changed my mind. It was just like rd said, and rd's my main man, even if he wont admit it to himself, everyone else can see it. Wake up rd. Where was I?
Oh yes, so Im decided im going. I says, could I phone you back in one second. Ring Ring, In YOUR FACE JAYNE IM GOING TO CANBERRA. Much what will I wear ensues, she insists I at least shave my legs. I insist I at least dye my hair and I have to run because Ive now got a lot of stuff to sort before my big Canberra trip.
So I phones him back. Ive reconsidered and would like to come to Canberra with you afterall I says.
Lovely he says. We chat some more. This is where it all goes downhill. Badly. My meat eating vegetarian prius driving buddhist is not quite as open to other viewpoints as he might like to think he is. And now Im feeling like crap because of it.
You see, he was busy telling me about his ...ok soemthing or other, life plan thingy, what hes up to next career wise and so on and so forth. Hes got a lot of pies that his fingers seem to be in. Then he says I might do ...blah blah....because it will make a lot of money. This is after telling me of the other things he will be doing. I says.....wait for it. Classic me moment, Im all about saying the wrong thing, though I never thought it was the wrong thing. I says....I would hate to do something just because it would make a lot of money.
He goes a bit quiet. He says, thats a little unrealistic. He says, he still has to make a living rah rah. I says, its not unrealistic, you dont neeeeed that money to live on. YOuve got your fingers in plenty of pies, making you plenty enough money, why do something just because it will make you more money? He says, he might go to bed now. I havent picked up yet that he's pissed at me. I says, ok, well I will hear from you tomorrow then. He says...............thats a long pause there, he says...yeah....um,...........yeah. I notice this pausing thing. I says....Or not?
He says...or not? whats that mean? I says, well you hesitated quite a lot there perhaps you changed your mind, chuckle chuckle, afterall its the middle of the morning, joke joke, the mans just tired, ha ha. Not to worry. He says.....HE SAYS, TRUTHFULLY I FIND THAT VIEWPOINT OFFENSIVE.
I says, why, it wasnt intended to cause offensive, i specifically said i would hate to do soemthing just for the money side, i didnt say I wouldnt. *you folk remember those disastrous jobs ive taken just for the money right?? but i had no other choices, he does*.
He then went on to tell me that he now feels quite degraded. I says, why would you? Besides, ive just spent the night telling you how admirable your ideas, and your plans are, why would you now assume Im degrading you? I cant remember what happened next, but he said, i think i should just go to bed. I says.....GOD IM AN IDIOT WHY DID I SAY THIS?? I says, ok, well i apologise if you took offense, it was not intended to be derogatory in anyway. He says goodnight. I says goodnight.
and there you have it. I blew it. So I didnt bother dyeing my hair or shaving my legs. Shut up Jayne. Dont think you can laugh, youve now got a date for Valentines Day. me. im pathetic. Why are you even friends with me??
Thursday, January 29, 2009
So He Better Not Ring Me Tonight Right
cos that might change my mind again. Im officially not going. Thats it. End of story. IM NOT GOING.
IM NOT. IM NOT GOING. IM STICKING WITH MY PLAN. ITS A GOOD PLAN. IM NOT GOING. NO MATTER WHAT.
IM NOT. IM NOT GOING. IM STICKING WITH MY PLAN. ITS A GOOD PLAN. IM NOT GOING. NO MATTER WHAT.
So I Might Change My Mind Right
Ok, maybe I will go. OH god I wish I knew what I was going to say. If Jayne was a decent friend she would have helped me with this decision. But she didnt. Why am I even friends with her?
So I Decided Im Not Going Right
On this propositioning sort of date I was asked on. I spent half the night and all morning coming up with the answer. And the fact that I didnt find anything at all glorious in the way of a new dress has absolutely nothing to do with my decision at all....
So Im going to take a pro active approach here. NO point stuffing around and what have you. Im going to say no to the night away, but ask him outright if he would like to have dinner with me one night next week......one night next week is open enough to not be able to be busy every single night. A week is a whole seven days. If he is busy then he was just trying to get into my knickies....*shut up Jayne*. If he jumps at the idea, or at least doesnt say no to the idea, then perhaps I ought to have gone on the overnighter!!!
Besides....the tragic burning of the forestry of Tasmania thus putting an end to all logging rights anway? I checked up on that...they still have anti logging protestors down there, you can read that as, Tasmania hasnt returned to its once beautiful state yet. Not that anyone holds a boarding ticket for a trip south........
Tho, realistically, any man who just wants to get into your knickies, doesnt spend three hours on the phone to you every night........Did I mention he emailed me flowers? In your face Jayne.
Is it just me, or has anyone noticed a marked difference in my approach to men these days?
So Im going to take a pro active approach here. NO point stuffing around and what have you. Im going to say no to the night away, but ask him outright if he would like to have dinner with me one night next week......one night next week is open enough to not be able to be busy every single night. A week is a whole seven days. If he is busy then he was just trying to get into my knickies....*shut up Jayne*. If he jumps at the idea, or at least doesnt say no to the idea, then perhaps I ought to have gone on the overnighter!!!
Besides....the tragic burning of the forestry of Tasmania thus putting an end to all logging rights anway? I checked up on that...they still have anti logging protestors down there, you can read that as, Tasmania hasnt returned to its once beautiful state yet. Not that anyone holds a boarding ticket for a trip south........
Tho, realistically, any man who just wants to get into your knickies, doesnt spend three hours on the phone to you every night........Did I mention he emailed me flowers? In your face Jayne.
Is it just me, or has anyone noticed a marked difference in my approach to men these days?
So He Asked Me On A Date Right
Conversation went something like this....
Him...I have to submit this application in Canberra on Friday. Have you been to Canberra?
Me...No. Ive not. This is my first time south and no actually thats a lie. I think I went there once on the way past to get to Melbourne. It was 5am so I didnt really see much.
Him....There are some lovely places in Canberra, I could show you if you like?
Me...Oh. Really? When were you going?
Him...About 11ish Friday morning.
Me.....*furiously thinking to myself...ok that gives me time to drop kids at school and head to where he is, go for a drive *in that prius thingy??* submit his application, ok I might not be back by the time school finishes but thats not too bad, Hang on a second*...........I says outloud, HOw long does it take to get to Canberra?
Him...Oh a couple of hours. 3, maybe 4.
Me....When did you think you might be back again?
Him....We could stay down there for the night, see some things in the afternoon, dinner in the evening and how about that lazy latte on saturday at a gorgeous little cafe, liked we talked about initially?
Ok people, so now im in a position. I love him. He asked me out. But overnight? Is overnight a date? Or is it a proposition. He drives a prius, thats got to make him conservative right? Not likely to jump a girl on the first date? Rd, you said they take a while to wind up....?? Would Tasmania even be open for logging by then??
That conversation came at the end of a three hour chat about, again, all manner of things. I love him. I cant even say in your face to Jayne yet cos I havent worked out if it was a date offer or a propositioning.......If its a date, then I can say in your face, if its a propositioning, I guess she can. Why am I even friends with her?
Hey, just cos it might be a proposition, doesnt mean he doesnt want to 'date' me as well right?
Him...I have to submit this application in Canberra on Friday. Have you been to Canberra?
Me...No. Ive not. This is my first time south and no actually thats a lie. I think I went there once on the way past to get to Melbourne. It was 5am so I didnt really see much.
Him....There are some lovely places in Canberra, I could show you if you like?
Me...Oh. Really? When were you going?
Him...About 11ish Friday morning.
Me.....*furiously thinking to myself...ok that gives me time to drop kids at school and head to where he is, go for a drive *in that prius thingy??* submit his application, ok I might not be back by the time school finishes but thats not too bad, Hang on a second*...........I says outloud, HOw long does it take to get to Canberra?
Him...Oh a couple of hours. 3, maybe 4.
Me....When did you think you might be back again?
Him....We could stay down there for the night, see some things in the afternoon, dinner in the evening and how about that lazy latte on saturday at a gorgeous little cafe, liked we talked about initially?
Ok people, so now im in a position. I love him. He asked me out. But overnight? Is overnight a date? Or is it a proposition. He drives a prius, thats got to make him conservative right? Not likely to jump a girl on the first date? Rd, you said they take a while to wind up....?? Would Tasmania even be open for logging by then??
That conversation came at the end of a three hour chat about, again, all manner of things. I love him. I cant even say in your face to Jayne yet cos I havent worked out if it was a date offer or a propositioning.......If its a date, then I can say in your face, if its a propositioning, I guess she can. Why am I even friends with her?
Hey, just cos it might be a proposition, doesnt mean he doesnt want to 'date' me as well right?
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
So Its Just One Date Right
Not five minutes after coming to my senses, ive lost them again. Thats cos he phoned me just now. I love him. Theres that voice that sends shives down my...well everything. NO reason to phone, just did. Off to a board meeting. Thought of me along the way and voila, calls me.
I could go on just one date couldnt I? One?? No he didnt ask me. YET JAYNE. HE DIDNT ASK ME YET. But he will.
I could go on just one date couldnt I? One?? No he didnt ask me. YET JAYNE. HE DIDNT ASK ME YET. But he will.
So I Came To My Senses Right
Ok. I dont love him. And Im not going to go on a date with him. What was I thinking? As for Jayne, why didnt she tell me I was being an idiot? Why am I even friends with her?
So I dont love him. Honestly the man may find me intoxicating now, but how long can intoxicating last for? Intoxicating is nice for now, but its not something that lasts for ever surely? No. Intoxicating is the word you use when you dont want to say Im obviously far too good for you on a long term basis, I find you fresh and fun, but realistically your not in my league. Im too smart for you, your ignorance will wear thin soon enough but I may want to take you to bed and if I tell you any of this you wont let me. THATS what intoxicating means isnt it? He'd just end up dumping me for someone more professional.
So its decided then. I wont go out with him. Not that I had an official date anyway. But should he actually ask to date me, on a specific date I'll..........damn! I dont know what I will do. Maybe I will go.
So I dont love him. Honestly the man may find me intoxicating now, but how long can intoxicating last for? Intoxicating is nice for now, but its not something that lasts for ever surely? No. Intoxicating is the word you use when you dont want to say Im obviously far too good for you on a long term basis, I find you fresh and fun, but realistically your not in my league. Im too smart for you, your ignorance will wear thin soon enough but I may want to take you to bed and if I tell you any of this you wont let me. THATS what intoxicating means isnt it? He'd just end up dumping me for someone more professional.
So its decided then. I wont go out with him. Not that I had an official date anyway. But should he actually ask to date me, on a specific date I'll..........damn! I dont know what I will do. Maybe I will go.
So The Date Question Came Up Right
With my I love him man last night. Not the valentines day date question. Yep, looks like Jayne is still my only option there. But, A date was mentioned. Told you I was definately going on a date with this man. I love him.
I am, however starting to take my toll on the poor boy. I mean man. Did I mention the object of my love is younger than me? And ever so much more cleverer than me? And yes Jayne, he might be a meat eating vegetarian buddhist but I love him. Last night, when HE CAME LOOKING FOR ME COS I DIDNT CAVE IN AND TEXT HIM OR ANYTHING, he sounded so tired. I have been keeping him up til all hours though. Its not my fault he finds me intoxicating. Yep, thats the word he used. I love him. He thinks Im intoxicating.
Rd, he's the younger more available less immune to my charms version of you. And, he doesnt have some girlfriend whisking him off on holidays while Im in town. Well, he doesnt seem to have. Ive been known to be wrong about men before though. Just the once. Ok, just the twice. Oh ok, a lot more times than that.
So we chatted again for hours last night. And the 'date' question came up. In a conservative sort of way. Not in a definately sort of way. Thats not a good sign is it? I suppose a cynic would see it as a bit of...I love you but im not IN love with you.....sort of comment. We didnt actually put a date on the proposed date. Just discussed that we should actually go on one. This weekend was a suggestion but nothing was in concrete. Jayne says this week is a bit soon. Why am I even friends with her? This week is definately a good time, because with the Tragic loss of Tasmania there still wont be any logging going on down there and I cant be tempted even though I love him so. Not that he would make such a suggestion. He's polite, refined, with manners and drives a prius. For those of us, like me, who had no idea what a prius was, its one of those h ighbrid cars. A prius driver couldnt possibly come onto you on the first date could he? Would he? Anyway, he says he's all about saving the planet and so on, perhaps the Tragic loss of Tasmania might be something he would want to take an interest in?
I am, however starting to take my toll on the poor boy. I mean man. Did I mention the object of my love is younger than me? And ever so much more cleverer than me? And yes Jayne, he might be a meat eating vegetarian buddhist but I love him. Last night, when HE CAME LOOKING FOR ME COS I DIDNT CAVE IN AND TEXT HIM OR ANYTHING, he sounded so tired. I have been keeping him up til all hours though. Its not my fault he finds me intoxicating. Yep, thats the word he used. I love him. He thinks Im intoxicating.
Rd, he's the younger more available less immune to my charms version of you. And, he doesnt have some girlfriend whisking him off on holidays while Im in town. Well, he doesnt seem to have. Ive been known to be wrong about men before though. Just the once. Ok, just the twice. Oh ok, a lot more times than that.
So we chatted again for hours last night. And the 'date' question came up. In a conservative sort of way. Not in a definately sort of way. Thats not a good sign is it? I suppose a cynic would see it as a bit of...I love you but im not IN love with you.....sort of comment. We didnt actually put a date on the proposed date. Just discussed that we should actually go on one. This weekend was a suggestion but nothing was in concrete. Jayne says this week is a bit soon. Why am I even friends with her? This week is definately a good time, because with the Tragic loss of Tasmania there still wont be any logging going on down there and I cant be tempted even though I love him so. Not that he would make such a suggestion. He's polite, refined, with manners and drives a prius. For those of us, like me, who had no idea what a prius was, its one of those h ighbrid cars. A prius driver couldnt possibly come onto you on the first date could he? Would he? Anyway, he says he's all about saving the planet and so on, perhaps the Tragic loss of Tasmania might be something he would want to take an interest in?
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
So He Didnt Txt Me, He Msn'd Me Right
Update...he just signed into Msn. I didnt have to text him and look all you know...like I was interested or anything in him. Thats not how a girl plays the dating game.
Of course, being online pathetically NOT BUSY has to be at least a giveaway as if I had texted, but the important thing here is....HE CAME TO ME.
Jayne didnt though. Why am I even friends with her?
Of course, being online pathetically NOT BUSY has to be at least a giveaway as if I had texted, but the important thing here is....HE CAME TO ME.
Jayne didnt though. Why am I even friends with her?
So I Bought A Tub Of Wax Right
Because there is no way in the world I am going through that Tasmania burning disaster again. So I bought wax. A girl has to look her best, even if the only thing she is doing is sitting by the computer waiting for Jayne to front up. Honestly, why am I even friends with her? She's never there. And heres me, waiting waiting waiting for her. Its 10pm. And......Oh ok. I fess up. While I do have my messenger open and ready for when Jayne does turn up, if Jayne feels like turning up, Im also wondering if I should txt Jack2. Jack1 hasnt been heard from since well, see the last few entries here. That was a waste of my time. Guess that means definately no Valentines Day Date for me. You watch Jayne front up real quick when she hears that one. Maybe Jack2 will consider the idea of a date? On Valentines Day? He should. I love him.
So, what do you think? Should I txt Jack2 or not. I dont want to come over all stalker like. But I dont want to come over all not interested like. Dating, is not fun people. Dating, is a true pain in the ass. This is why I got married. So I wouldnt have to spend my time wondering if I will have a date for Valentines Day or if I will be spending it with....god forbid....Jayne for company.
Im not going to text him. Im not. I love him. But Im not going to text him. Heres the thing. If he is that keen, he will text me. If he isnt, then well, I wont look like I couldnt do better than him anyway. Thats not a good look. You never want your potential to ever have a sniff that if you dont hear from them you will cry. Crying is not for women who date. Crying is for women who are pathetic ageing alcoholics who dont have a damn date for Valentines Day. And I swore blindly last year that this year, this valentines day, I was going to be inundated with flowers and chocolates and the sort of lingerie my mother would be shocked to find if she was doing my washing. And look at me. NO DAMN DATE. I know I know, its supposed to be about the day that your anonymous admirer from afar finally gets his nerve up and lets you know he thinks your hot, but since when have I ever cared about what things are supposed to be about? What I care about is me me me me me.
Jayne better not point out that that is most likely the reason why I dont have a date for Valentines Day. Why am I even friends with her?
So, what do you think? Should I txt Jack2 or not. I dont want to come over all stalker like. But I dont want to come over all not interested like. Dating, is not fun people. Dating, is a true pain in the ass. This is why I got married. So I wouldnt have to spend my time wondering if I will have a date for Valentines Day or if I will be spending it with....god forbid....Jayne for company.
Im not going to text him. Im not. I love him. But Im not going to text him. Heres the thing. If he is that keen, he will text me. If he isnt, then well, I wont look like I couldnt do better than him anyway. Thats not a good look. You never want your potential to ever have a sniff that if you dont hear from them you will cry. Crying is not for women who date. Crying is for women who are pathetic ageing alcoholics who dont have a damn date for Valentines Day. And I swore blindly last year that this year, this valentines day, I was going to be inundated with flowers and chocolates and the sort of lingerie my mother would be shocked to find if she was doing my washing. And look at me. NO DAMN DATE. I know I know, its supposed to be about the day that your anonymous admirer from afar finally gets his nerve up and lets you know he thinks your hot, but since when have I ever cared about what things are supposed to be about? What I care about is me me me me me.
Jayne better not point out that that is most likely the reason why I dont have a date for Valentines Day. Why am I even friends with her?
So I Msn'd Jack2 Right
And have been for some time after the emails started. Im in love. I love him. He gave me his phone number. I didnt use it. I didnt even go near it which is very restrained for me. Usually I would be in there in a flash, but nope. Didnt touch it. We chat on msn and I can have my little love affair with him right there which suits me just fine.
Jack2 asked me for my phone number. I explained that it wasnt broken and didnt need to be fixed and we shouldnt move too fast on this particular encounter..........Thats because I dont want him to find out all my faults far too soon and be gone quicker than you can say I love him. I didnt give him my number. Jack2 though, hes persistant he is. Politely so. I didnt give him my number though. So you know what he did? He said that I have his number, he is surprised I didnt use it yet, he is signing out of msn and if I wish to continue talking to him I will have to call him.
Clever guy. I called him of course. Then I hung up before he could answer it. I called Jayne instead. Jayne wanted to know what I was doing calling her instead of him. I wanted to know that too. I called him again. This time he answered. I rattled off soemthing or other and hung up. I called Jayne. Jayne thinks Im nuts and says well you have to call him back now or he will think your nuts too. NOOOOOOOO he cant think im nuts. I love him. But I cant call him back. He sends me a text message. It says.....be brave, last week you didnt know I existed, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I do have to call him back. Because I dont want him thinking Im some kind of strange nutcase who rings people and hangs up on them, even though that is exactly what I did.
I rings him up. He answers. I dont hang up. I didnt hang up. I said it was very mean of him to leave me hanging on msn like that and asked him why I am even friends with him after he left me hanging on msn like that. His voice is amazing. I love him. It sends all manner of strange sensations down my, well my everything really. I love him. He didnt think I was nuts or if he did he was too polite to say so. WE chatted about so many things. He laughs a lot. But only in that chuckle a bit kind of way. Not like me. I laugh a lot too but I do it in one of those banshee cackle sorts of way. Very unattractive. Hours and Hours we chatted for. Do you know why? Cos I love him. Ok so no mention of a date actually happened but I guarantee I am going on a date with this man. I love him.
I could tell you all manner of interesting things about him but I wont. Hes mine and I love him. And Ronald, if your reading this, this is getting closer to that type of man we talked bout.
Jack2 asked me for my phone number. I explained that it wasnt broken and didnt need to be fixed and we shouldnt move too fast on this particular encounter..........Thats because I dont want him to find out all my faults far too soon and be gone quicker than you can say I love him. I didnt give him my number. Jack2 though, hes persistant he is. Politely so. I didnt give him my number though. So you know what he did? He said that I have his number, he is surprised I didnt use it yet, he is signing out of msn and if I wish to continue talking to him I will have to call him.
Clever guy. I called him of course. Then I hung up before he could answer it. I called Jayne instead. Jayne wanted to know what I was doing calling her instead of him. I wanted to know that too. I called him again. This time he answered. I rattled off soemthing or other and hung up. I called Jayne. Jayne thinks Im nuts and says well you have to call him back now or he will think your nuts too. NOOOOOOOO he cant think im nuts. I love him. But I cant call him back. He sends me a text message. It says.....be brave, last week you didnt know I existed, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I do have to call him back. Because I dont want him thinking Im some kind of strange nutcase who rings people and hangs up on them, even though that is exactly what I did.
I rings him up. He answers. I dont hang up. I didnt hang up. I said it was very mean of him to leave me hanging on msn like that and asked him why I am even friends with him after he left me hanging on msn like that. His voice is amazing. I love him. It sends all manner of strange sensations down my, well my everything really. I love him. He didnt think I was nuts or if he did he was too polite to say so. WE chatted about so many things. He laughs a lot. But only in that chuckle a bit kind of way. Not like me. I laugh a lot too but I do it in one of those banshee cackle sorts of way. Very unattractive. Hours and Hours we chatted for. Do you know why? Cos I love him. Ok so no mention of a date actually happened but I guarantee I am going on a date with this man. I love him.
I could tell you all manner of interesting things about him but I wont. Hes mine and I love him. And Ronald, if your reading this, this is getting closer to that type of man we talked bout.
Monday, January 26, 2009
So I Got This Email Right
While I was not being in contact with Jack and not looking for questions for The Great Australia Day quiz, I was in gmail, waiting for Jayne to turn up and laugh at me, like she does, why am I even friends with her? I gets this email.
Im in love. I texted Jayne.
Me...Im in love
Her...love? who with?
Me...I dont know, but the emails, my god the emails.
Her..what about Jack?
Me..Who?
Her...Whore
Me...no thers no r and no e on who.
Note, whore? Why am I even friends with her?
She signed in pretty damn quick after that. To hear all about my email I guess. Or live her own life. Who cares, lets get back to my emails.
Lets call him Jack 2.
Jack 2 thinks my profile is witty and intelligent, and loves my bubbly personality and ability to laugh at all things. Jack must be a reader of my blog but I digress. Jack2 is into sustainability and reducing the ever growing footprints in the sand that we leave and reducing the strain we put on our natural resources. And he's an animal lover.
I emailed him back telling him that I wear a size ten shoe and am a shocking water waster, whats more, that if being a shocking water waster wasnt enough, im even proud of it. I told Jack2 that I more than euphemistically have to reduce my footprints in the sand because with a size ten foot, thats a pretty big footprint and its becoming decidely difficult to find shoes to fit me these days anyway.
Jack2 emailed back asking me if I could do anything at all in the whole world what would it be? I emailed Jack2 back and said that I realistically I can do anything in the whole world, but walkin into the biggest publishing house and dramatically dropping my completed manuscript on the desk with one hand and picking up my billion dollar advance with the other I would be the happiest woman in the world, unless you counted my dog, but you cant really count a dog as a woman so perhaps I should re word and be the happiest bitch in the whole world.
Jack2 emailed back and said, that beings as how we are not in 'the hood' we should count the dog as a woman and he would suggest that only the last few contacts between us should contain the word bitch and the first few contacts should focus more on the woman, not the bitch.
YOu can see why I told Jayne I was in love........
Im in love. I texted Jayne.
Me...Im in love
Her...love? who with?
Me...I dont know, but the emails, my god the emails.
Her..what about Jack?
Me..Who?
Her...Whore
Me...no thers no r and no e on who.
Note, whore? Why am I even friends with her?
She signed in pretty damn quick after that. To hear all about my email I guess. Or live her own life. Who cares, lets get back to my emails.
Lets call him Jack 2.
Jack 2 thinks my profile is witty and intelligent, and loves my bubbly personality and ability to laugh at all things. Jack must be a reader of my blog but I digress. Jack2 is into sustainability and reducing the ever growing footprints in the sand that we leave and reducing the strain we put on our natural resources. And he's an animal lover.
I emailed him back telling him that I wear a size ten shoe and am a shocking water waster, whats more, that if being a shocking water waster wasnt enough, im even proud of it. I told Jack2 that I more than euphemistically have to reduce my footprints in the sand because with a size ten foot, thats a pretty big footprint and its becoming decidely difficult to find shoes to fit me these days anyway.
Jack2 emailed back asking me if I could do anything at all in the whole world what would it be? I emailed Jack2 back and said that I realistically I can do anything in the whole world, but walkin into the biggest publishing house and dramatically dropping my completed manuscript on the desk with one hand and picking up my billion dollar advance with the other I would be the happiest woman in the world, unless you counted my dog, but you cant really count a dog as a woman so perhaps I should re word and be the happiest bitch in the whole world.
Jack2 emailed back and said, that beings as how we are not in 'the hood' we should count the dog as a woman and he would suggest that only the last few contacts between us should contain the word bitch and the first few contacts should focus more on the woman, not the bitch.
YOu can see why I told Jayne I was in love........
So I Should Have Blogged Last Night But I was Busy
Yes I should have blogged the last entry last night, but I was a bit on the busy side and didnt get to it til this morning.
Theres more.....there always is isnt there?
So I spent the whole of last night on the computer ostensibly sourcing questions for The Great Australia Day quiz to go with the The Great Australia Day BBQ we are having here today, but thats not what really happened.
Jack is on my msn. My msn is always on when IM on the computer. So, it seems is Jack's. Cept Jack's was online allllllllll night and he was a bit on the rude side to me. I messaged him...
Me...what you doing?
Him....*like ages later no dont hurry or anything I can wait all damn night* Watching a movie
Me...what one?
Him...girl fighting guy one.
Me...oh, well thats gotta be good doesnt it? girls belting the crap out of some man who obviously deserved it
Him...if a girl ever hit me I would spit on her. If she hit me again, I would hit her back, let her know what its like to reallly be hit.
Me....charming so what else are you doing?
Him...Im going back to watch my movie
Me...Oh. FINE THEN.
Then he didnt come near me again for the whole night, not one text, and im feeling a wee bit like Jayne is definately going to enjoy telling me that my valentines day date that I was ever so proud of is gone gone gone. Bet she has a date and its just me sitting at home by myself, being pathetic and wallowing in my own misery. I hate Jayne. Why am I even friends with her?
Theres more.....there always is isnt there?
So I spent the whole of last night on the computer ostensibly sourcing questions for The Great Australia Day quiz to go with the The Great Australia Day BBQ we are having here today, but thats not what really happened.
Jack is on my msn. My msn is always on when IM on the computer. So, it seems is Jack's. Cept Jack's was online allllllllll night and he was a bit on the rude side to me. I messaged him...
Me...what you doing?
Him....*like ages later no dont hurry or anything I can wait all damn night* Watching a movie
Me...what one?
Him...girl fighting guy one.
Me...oh, well thats gotta be good doesnt it? girls belting the crap out of some man who obviously deserved it
Him...if a girl ever hit me I would spit on her. If she hit me again, I would hit her back, let her know what its like to reallly be hit.
Me....charming so what else are you doing?
Him...Im going back to watch my movie
Me...Oh. FINE THEN.
Then he didnt come near me again for the whole night, not one text, and im feeling a wee bit like Jayne is definately going to enjoy telling me that my valentines day date that I was ever so proud of is gone gone gone. Bet she has a date and its just me sitting at home by myself, being pathetic and wallowing in my own misery. I hate Jayne. Why am I even friends with her?
So He Is A Shocking Speller Right
Just a quick update on yesterdays disastrous txt from the days before pleasant date......
I summoned up my courage and texted him back, heres how it went.
Me...what does no single smarty pants mean?
Him...no resption
Ok, that cleared everything up didnt it? NO. What the? OH MY GOD. Ok, so he's definitely not going to be a stalker cos hes not bloody interested and I burnt Tasmania for some guy who isnt single and cant freaking spell????? Why would he do that? Why be that interested, date me, have a wonderful time, then tell me he isnt single? Jayne, she's just going to love this isnt she? Well there goes my valentines day date. I'll be stuck at home on a valentines day saturday night agreeing with Jayne that we are indeed pathetic and drinking far too much wine.
Then, at 7.05pm, my phone rings. ITs him. I dont know if I actually want to answer it, but I hate the unknown so I answer it, all the while thinking to myself, far out, its five minutes after he finished work and he's on the phone to me? This is one seriously mixed up man, hes not single but Im the first thing he thinks off when he finishes work?
Me...Hey Hello.
Him....How are you darlin
Me...Well Im just fine, whats with the no single text?
Him...signal. No Signal.
Me...a fruedian typo? I dont think so. And what the hell is resption???
Him...reception. I did mention I was going to work today afterall, you do know I work in a coal mine?
Me....oh.dear.
Readers, its a coal mine. Its a big ol hole in the ground, of course theres no freaking signal and no bloody reception. What am I going off about? Ok the man was drivin a truck today, one handed, while attempting to appease my obviously pissed off text that he hadnt texted me. He didnt really think that taking time out and ignoring all safety rules on a minesite was the thing to do.
Im an idiot. Please dont tell Jayne.
I summoned up my courage and texted him back, heres how it went.
Me...what does no single smarty pants mean?
Him...no resption
Ok, that cleared everything up didnt it? NO. What the? OH MY GOD. Ok, so he's definitely not going to be a stalker cos hes not bloody interested and I burnt Tasmania for some guy who isnt single and cant freaking spell????? Why would he do that? Why be that interested, date me, have a wonderful time, then tell me he isnt single? Jayne, she's just going to love this isnt she? Well there goes my valentines day date. I'll be stuck at home on a valentines day saturday night agreeing with Jayne that we are indeed pathetic and drinking far too much wine.
Then, at 7.05pm, my phone rings. ITs him. I dont know if I actually want to answer it, but I hate the unknown so I answer it, all the while thinking to myself, far out, its five minutes after he finished work and he's on the phone to me? This is one seriously mixed up man, hes not single but Im the first thing he thinks off when he finishes work?
Me...Hey Hello.
Him....How are you darlin
Me...Well Im just fine, whats with the no single text?
Him...signal. No Signal.
Me...a fruedian typo? I dont think so. And what the hell is resption???
Him...reception. I did mention I was going to work today afterall, you do know I work in a coal mine?
Me....oh.dear.
Readers, its a coal mine. Its a big ol hole in the ground, of course theres no freaking signal and no bloody reception. What am I going off about? Ok the man was drivin a truck today, one handed, while attempting to appease my obviously pissed off text that he hadnt texted me. He didnt really think that taking time out and ignoring all safety rules on a minesite was the thing to do.
Im an idiot. Please dont tell Jayne.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
So I Sit By The Phone Right
Cos thats what you do after a date isnt it? You sit by the phone and wait for him to call?
Not me. IM not a phone sitter. Im a take the bull by the horns make my own action sorta girl. Im not going to sit around waiting for him to call, worrying why he hasnt called, or drink too much wine and mope about how I must have done something wrong because he hasnt called yet. No, I didnt call him. I texted him.
Heres how the after date txt session went.
Me....Thats not right. You send me 52 txts in one night, date me, then the next day, not a single text.
Him....Not single smarty pants.
Not single? Smarty pants? Ok Im a little confused now. He isnt single and had no business dating me in the first place? Or is this a case of taking the lines, 'your mine' and 'who are you chatting up' a lot more seriously cos now that Ive dated him once he considers him and me a we?
I may be in way over my head here. I often am. OH GOD I SHOULD HAVE WAITED FOR HIM TO CALL that way I could well be miserable because he didnt call instead of stressing out that he may actually think that he and me are now a we which wasnt actually on the cards at this stage .....
I gotta go ring Jayne...........
Not me. IM not a phone sitter. Im a take the bull by the horns make my own action sorta girl. Im not going to sit around waiting for him to call, worrying why he hasnt called, or drink too much wine and mope about how I must have done something wrong because he hasnt called yet. No, I didnt call him. I texted him.
Heres how the after date txt session went.
Me....Thats not right. You send me 52 txts in one night, date me, then the next day, not a single text.
Him....Not single smarty pants.
Not single? Smarty pants? Ok Im a little confused now. He isnt single and had no business dating me in the first place? Or is this a case of taking the lines, 'your mine' and 'who are you chatting up' a lot more seriously cos now that Ive dated him once he considers him and me a we?
I may be in way over my head here. I often am. OH GOD I SHOULD HAVE WAITED FOR HIM TO CALL that way I could well be miserable because he didnt call instead of stressing out that he may actually think that he and me are now a we which wasnt actually on the cards at this stage .....
I gotta go ring Jayne...........
So I Met This Guy Right
Which is the sort of thing girls do when they go on a date with a guy. Yes the same date as the tragic burning of Tasmania fame. Im a bit undecided about him really. He's funny, kind, considerate, and generous without being condescendingly so. Which makes a change from the usual men I meet. Most of them have been outright wankers and tossers, and I dont know why I married them really. But this guy, lets call him Jack, he's not a wanker or a tosser. Well he is. Any man who says he doesnt pull himself is lying. But not that kind of wanker or tosser. Not in the sort of way that used to make me fall in love with them and walk my fine ass down an aisle in a church with at least. NO, those days are over. Im only interested in a man who is funny, kind, considerate and generous without being condescendingly so.
So at first impression thats what Jack is.However, we do have a problem. As I was leaving, he said to me........dont go *crap, I cant remember if it was meeting or chatting....damn.* dont go meeting up with any other guys will you, your mine. Or......dont go chatting up any other guys will you, your mine. One of those two at least. To which i replied, sorry darlin, Im no ones girl. Then I got home to discover that joy of joy, an internet connection which promptly made me log on to my old friend the internet only to have him pop up on msn asking who I was chatting up?
Im hoping this was all said in a jesty jokey funny kind of way. But I have a real habit of going for the guy who seems fine to start with, but turns out to be a wanker. I spose I should be worried or nervous or something. Cos if he turns out to be a tosser, then there goes my valentines day date and Jayne, well she doesnt need any more reasons to laugh her ass off at me. Why am I even friends with her??
So at first impression thats what Jack is.However, we do have a problem. As I was leaving, he said to me........dont go *crap, I cant remember if it was meeting or chatting....damn.* dont go meeting up with any other guys will you, your mine. Or......dont go chatting up any other guys will you, your mine. One of those two at least. To which i replied, sorry darlin, Im no ones girl. Then I got home to discover that joy of joy, an internet connection which promptly made me log on to my old friend the internet only to have him pop up on msn asking who I was chatting up?
Im hoping this was all said in a jesty jokey funny kind of way. But I have a real habit of going for the guy who seems fine to start with, but turns out to be a wanker. I spose I should be worried or nervous or something. Cos if he turns out to be a tosser, then there goes my valentines day date and Jayne, well she doesnt need any more reasons to laugh her ass off at me. Why am I even friends with her??
So Theres This Ten Second Rule Right
Jayne says when you meet a guy you size them up in ten seconds.
Heres what she says happens in the first ten seconds. Yes Ive copy and pasted straight from her blog but she deserves it for laughing at the tragic forest fire of Tasmania recently..
JayneDoh says..
Those random thoughts that immediately spring to mind when first meeting ...
Would I do him?
Would I introduce him to my friends?
Would I put his c*ck in my mouth?
The following definitions then apply once the above has been answered with a resounding ... yes:-
One night stand.
Fling ... bit of fun, enjoy it while it lasts.
This one's a keeper ... you're in it for the long haul.
Jayne and I differ on this. For a start, I think it takes a lot longer than ten seconds. I actually have no idea whether I want to do him, introduce him to my friends, or put his c*ck in my mouth in ten seconds. Takes me ages and ages. And in some cases a couple bottles of wine before I can make that decision. Sometimes, the couple bottles of wine makes the decision for me. Which is great, cos I hate decision making.
And I think she's got it round the wrong way. If I was to agree with this ten second rule, then Id have to change it. Id be more likely to think he was a keeper if I introduced him to my friends than if I put his c*ck in my mouth. And besides, Ive been married twice and all married people know that once your a keeper, you never get a blowjob again in your life. Well so says both of my bastard husbands. YOU GET WHAT YOU GIVE BOYS.......you dont give, you dont get.
So Ive got my own rules of sorts when it comes to meeting a man. Theres no timelimit on deciding if I want to do him or not. Or if Im going to put his c*ck in my mouth. And the only time he's ever getting introduced to my family or friends is when we are way past the c*ck in mouth thing and well and truly established in the never getting a blowjob ever again state known as A RELATIONSHIP.
So says me, a twice divorced single woman. At home, on a saturday night, typing away on the internet at half past two in the morning. I think we can safely say that when it comes to relationships I suck. *Which is not a reference to any putting of c*cks in my mouth thank you*
Heres what she says happens in the first ten seconds. Yes Ive copy and pasted straight from her blog but she deserves it for laughing at the tragic forest fire of Tasmania recently..
JayneDoh says..
Those random thoughts that immediately spring to mind when first meeting ...
Would I do him?
Would I introduce him to my friends?
Would I put his c*ck in my mouth?
The following definitions then apply once the above has been answered with a resounding ... yes:-
One night stand.
Fling ... bit of fun, enjoy it while it lasts.
This one's a keeper ... you're in it for the long haul.
Jayne and I differ on this. For a start, I think it takes a lot longer than ten seconds. I actually have no idea whether I want to do him, introduce him to my friends, or put his c*ck in my mouth in ten seconds. Takes me ages and ages. And in some cases a couple bottles of wine before I can make that decision. Sometimes, the couple bottles of wine makes the decision for me. Which is great, cos I hate decision making.
And I think she's got it round the wrong way. If I was to agree with this ten second rule, then Id have to change it. Id be more likely to think he was a keeper if I introduced him to my friends than if I put his c*ck in my mouth. And besides, Ive been married twice and all married people know that once your a keeper, you never get a blowjob again in your life. Well so says both of my bastard husbands. YOU GET WHAT YOU GIVE BOYS.......you dont give, you dont get.
So Ive got my own rules of sorts when it comes to meeting a man. Theres no timelimit on deciding if I want to do him or not. Or if Im going to put his c*ck in my mouth. And the only time he's ever getting introduced to my family or friends is when we are way past the c*ck in mouth thing and well and truly established in the never getting a blowjob ever again state known as A RELATIONSHIP.
So says me, a twice divorced single woman. At home, on a saturday night, typing away on the internet at half past two in the morning. I think we can safely say that when it comes to relationships I suck. *Which is not a reference to any putting of c*cks in my mouth thank you*
So I Had This Date Right
Today. A date. Me. I don't date. It's not that I don't really. Just that I never have. But I did it today. Dated. Didn't kill me. The preparation nearly did though.
I have this theory that theres no need to keep the lawn manicured if theres no gardener to tend to it, if you know what i mean, wink wink nudge nudge. This does mean however, that should I suddenly find myself interviewing a potential gardner that some damn quick hedge trimming better be taking place in Tasmania, and abroad for that matter, before that gardener cant get to the garden for the forest and the trees and the hedges and the weeds. But no logs. They dont log in Tasmania anymore do they? Im sure there was some ban put on it, some kind of law against it? No? Must just be my Tasmania then....
So there I am this morning frantically hacking my way through the undergrowth with a teeny pair of nail scissors *its all I could find* when I figured out that it was going to be a three or four day adventure trek if I kept up with the scissors and there must be a better way.
Im not a fan of waxing. Theres no way in the world you can convince me to put hot sticky stuff anywhere near my .............hang on, now that I think about it, hot sticky stuff is just fine. Whatever, IM not waxing. Ive never been to brazil because I cant speak the language, and I see no reason why I should start now. I use Nair. Or one of its competitors. Whatever hair remover is on special at the time. Im no brand nazi.
I gear off and goop on said Nair type product then busy myself pluckin my eyebrows while waiting for the hair to magically fall off due to its now being burnt off at the base of the follicle. Gee those eyebrows were a mission. Im sure there was two of them there last week, so how come there was only one there today? Not to worry. I sorted them out. Im a super eyebrow plucker. I can make plucked eyebrows look like they never need any attention at all. Just takes a bit of time.
Time? Holy hell how long has that goop been on down there, quick better get it off, what on earth is that tingly thingy? Thats never happened before. This cant be good. Wheres the damn facecloth? Owwwwwww. Get it off. Get if off. Sob sob, sook sook. GET IT OFF.
On closer inspection once the goop is all gone I notice that its going to be a nice day in Tasmania, thats what red means right? Red sky at night shepherds delight, red sky in morning, shepherds warning? OH DEAR GOD ITS MORNING. And its not going to be a nice day in Tasmania at all. Its all red and hazy, no thats just my eyesight failing me in the face of the pain of the fact that IVE BURNT TASMANIA TO THE GROUND. It is all red tho. And rashy looking and a bit of a bubbly look as well. Ive burnt it. The best thing for a burn is to cool it right down real quick, so I spend the next half an hour walking around with an ice pack strapped south of the border alternating between hoping that my forthcoming date is worth all this trouble I went to and hoping he isnt worth it because now that Ive burnt tasmania, there sure isnt going to be any logging going on down there today.........I knew that it had been banned. Told you.
I have this theory that theres no need to keep the lawn manicured if theres no gardener to tend to it, if you know what i mean, wink wink nudge nudge. This does mean however, that should I suddenly find myself interviewing a potential gardner that some damn quick hedge trimming better be taking place in Tasmania, and abroad for that matter, before that gardener cant get to the garden for the forest and the trees and the hedges and the weeds. But no logs. They dont log in Tasmania anymore do they? Im sure there was some ban put on it, some kind of law against it? No? Must just be my Tasmania then....
So there I am this morning frantically hacking my way through the undergrowth with a teeny pair of nail scissors *its all I could find* when I figured out that it was going to be a three or four day adventure trek if I kept up with the scissors and there must be a better way.
Im not a fan of waxing. Theres no way in the world you can convince me to put hot sticky stuff anywhere near my .............hang on, now that I think about it, hot sticky stuff is just fine. Whatever, IM not waxing. Ive never been to brazil because I cant speak the language, and I see no reason why I should start now. I use Nair. Or one of its competitors. Whatever hair remover is on special at the time. Im no brand nazi.
I gear off and goop on said Nair type product then busy myself pluckin my eyebrows while waiting for the hair to magically fall off due to its now being burnt off at the base of the follicle. Gee those eyebrows were a mission. Im sure there was two of them there last week, so how come there was only one there today? Not to worry. I sorted them out. Im a super eyebrow plucker. I can make plucked eyebrows look like they never need any attention at all. Just takes a bit of time.
Time? Holy hell how long has that goop been on down there, quick better get it off, what on earth is that tingly thingy? Thats never happened before. This cant be good. Wheres the damn facecloth? Owwwwwww. Get it off. Get if off. Sob sob, sook sook. GET IT OFF.
On closer inspection once the goop is all gone I notice that its going to be a nice day in Tasmania, thats what red means right? Red sky at night shepherds delight, red sky in morning, shepherds warning? OH DEAR GOD ITS MORNING. And its not going to be a nice day in Tasmania at all. Its all red and hazy, no thats just my eyesight failing me in the face of the pain of the fact that IVE BURNT TASMANIA TO THE GROUND. It is all red tho. And rashy looking and a bit of a bubbly look as well. Ive burnt it. The best thing for a burn is to cool it right down real quick, so I spend the next half an hour walking around with an ice pack strapped south of the border alternating between hoping that my forthcoming date is worth all this trouble I went to and hoping he isnt worth it because now that Ive burnt tasmania, there sure isnt going to be any logging going on down there today.........I knew that it had been banned. Told you.
So Ive Got This Friend Right
Lets call her Jayne. Jayne takes great pleasure in laughing at my misfortunes and ok, granted, they are rather funny so I shouldnt complain. However, Ive got a date for valentines day and Jayne doesnt. IN YOUR FACE JAYNE.
There, that showed her.........
There, that showed her.........
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