So Stolichnaya Loves Me Like No Man Ever Has Right?

Ok Jayne, yes I stole your line. And modified it. I cant come at this Absolut you rave about. Im a purist. If its not russian, its not vodka.

I like Stolichnaya, its so dependable. Reliable. Good at what it does. Handy when some bastard you considered going out for dinner with tells you your blog is, and I quote,......tedium.

Tedium. I have never been described as tedium. Tenacious yes, inimitable yes. Intoxicating even. Boring and the same and not at all gripping? Hell no. I think I just had another manment.

We shall no longer be naming our potential dates, or indeed, our actual dates as just Jack. No, we now have a whole new category to work with. Lets call him Tosser1. In fact, Im surprised its taken me this long to use that category. Considering some of the dates Ive recently been on. And I didnt even go on a date with Tosser1. YET. I stalled the first few mentions because I feel that if somone wants to date you straight up, then they want to 'date' you. In fact, we have had actual discussions whereby Tosser1 has told me that he's not like other men *none of them ever are!!* and he's quite offended that I keep telling him his constant efforts at polite discussion are taken by me as an attempt to get into my knickies ....and nothing else. **and buddy, I did tell you your name would be up in lights in here after that conversation so dont act surprised. I even told you you would get some descriptive name to be chosen while I was weilding a knife in the kitchen making those salads I had mentioned. I must apologise though. It seems I have lied to you. I suggested I would be opening a bottle of wine to sook into. That isnt the case. An unintentional lie, but a lie nonetheless. There was no wine. A tragedy in itself. Thankfully there was Stolli, and I have not taken your advice and not blogged while drinking. IN fact, yes Tosser1 I am even drinking at this very second....**

Tosser1, I feel a numbering system really ought to be used. I have a feeling this will not be my last encounter with a man worthy of the tosser label. You, though Tosser1, are the first to be numbered so. Feel special? Wanna do that dinner date now? Heres the problem. Tosser1, before he became Tosser1 and I have had a few conversations that have left him saying, lets part company hey? And me saying well thats a bit harsh isnt it? And him agreeing that yes that is indeed a bit harsh and so we have forged on anyway, regardless. I assume he agrees that is a bit harsh because in so doing would only prove my point that he just wanted to get into my knickies. And fine knickies they are too. Ask Jayne, I txted her a pic of them. Not the point. Tosser1 and I are not destined to date. Which in itself means I have to now date him. How can I not date the one person who does not like my style of telling a story? How can I not date the one person who, if only for a blog entry, actually sounds like the sort of man I would want to date?

I love opinionated people. I do. I just love them more when its my opinion they are being opinionated about. I like people with strong convictions. I like people who arent afraid to go against the grain and say it like it is. I like people who dont eat freaking pasta. Pasta is not a date food. Pasta is what you curl up in front of the tv with, ugg boots and trakkys on, with a nice bottle of wine, a roaring fire and From Here To Eternity to entertain your already entertained self. I like people who bother me enough to make it into my blog. Or impress me enough to make it into my blog. I like my blog!

He says, lets do dinner, you can prove me wrong in the flash. Flash? A typo of course. As if I would flash a guy who just said I was boring. In the flesh he meant. I asks him, I says, why would you want to do dinner with someone who bores you? He says, nevermind. This bothers me, and now I have to do dinner with him to find out why he wants to do dinner with someone who bores him.

However, precious daughter closed my msn box while I was weilding the knife in the kitchen and now I dont know whether he still wants to do dinner with me anyway. Actually I dont know whether I can even do dinner.

I can tell you this much, should I find myself on a date with this man, it will not be in my most gorgeous dress. I dont actually feel any need to impress him with a flash, or in the flesh. The very fact he bothered to be bored by me, and still said lets do dinner on friday, means I impressed him enough. I dont think he really knows what he is getting himself into. I can hold my own over a pool table, over a bottle of wine with friends, over a coffee with the Ambasador to Angola, over a heated discussion about the pro's and con's of logging in Tasmania, and over a plate of anything other than pasta with some guy who thinks im boring. The Princess of Tragic experience is not for the faint hearted, but it is not one that people forget easily.

Thought for this manment? To dinner or not to dinner. That is the question.