So I Took A Walk Down Menomory Lane Right

And found myself listening to Foreigner. I know I know. Even Im shocked, but it was the band of the time and was two songs that my ever so hot friend from school cant hear without thinking about me. I love hhhot friends. I dont love Foreigner. Who does? NO one. NOt the point. Point is a trip down Menomory lane had me listening to Foreigner. Google yourselves up some lyrics to Heart Turns To Stone. My ever so hot friend of near on 20 years ago knows me oh so well.

And I took another walk through a different lane last night. Ok it ws the wee hours of this morning. Not the point. This was the lane of where I am now. According to another friend of mine, the only 'man' who meets my requirements is a married man. What the?? I guess it might be true. We discussed these men I have been dating and came to the conclusion that the real reason there is nothing happening for me is because they are just too normal. And my messed up heart cant deal with normal. He also thought the pious prius driving buddhist was a total step into no mans land and laughed his ass off at the whole turn of events. Whatever was I thinking, he says. Well, hell I dont know. I guess I wasnt. But of course, I had to have been, somewhere, way in the back. Apparently I dont make good choices because Im so busy making sure my choices are not going to come back and bite me in the ass, or break my already irreparibly *correct that spelling please?* broken heart and thus, I find myself a man who is seemingly ok, but gives me the slightest of reasons to decide he isnt which I pounce on and voila, excuse made and theres me out in the cold whinging to Jayne about how pathetic I am. Or I find myself a man who is seemingly ok, but completely unattainable for some reason, distance, marital state, gay! whatever, as long as its a perfectly plausible reason as to why it would never work, attach my heart to him and then whinge to Jayne about how pathetic I am. Jayne's a legend. She listens to me whinge about being pathetic and never ever disagrees with me. I love Jayne. I might have her babies. See? There it was in practice people. Right there. I cant have Jayne's babies so therefore I love her and want to have them, thus leaving me with no option but to whinge to Jayne about how I cant have her babies.

Have I been drinking?? Nope, thats just clarity coming through. I said clarity Jayne, not claret. Why am I even friends with you?

I dont think I will do anything about it of course. Its enough to know thats what I do for now right? In the meantime Im more than happy to devote my entire love attentions to my ever unattainable but ever so close to perfect because they are attainable Rd's, Gers', Levo's and BTF1's. Why not? It suits my purposes, and is perfectly safe. I cant possibly find myself vulnerable and in any danger of being even remotely intimate with them. Yep. Id say Ive got myself pretty much worked out.

I blame Foreigner. Damn that ever so hot boy of near on 20 years ago. Foreigner? Whatever was I thinking??