So I Lock Messages In My Phone Right

Because deep down inside, even though I do a damn good job of hiding it, Im a romantic. Who loves romance. The concept of it at least. Not actual romance. No. Romance is not for me. Or is it?

I says to Jayne, my friend, my ever there companion, I says, Im lonely Jayne. She says, where are all your men friends this evening?

And thats the problem. I have men friends, I do not have a friend who is a man. More specifically, a friend who is also my man.

I have men friends who are so very dear to me, very different men, and for very different reasons. And so, I lock down the messages they send me on my mobile phone. Because they are sent with love. Not get into my knickies sort of love. But love nonetheless. A truer love than knickie love. From the heart sort of love, not from the cock sort of love.

My Mr Fabulous. I love him. I do. I love him more because he is miles away. I love him because he is true to himself. I love him because he is true to me. That sounds weird. The man has a girlfriend. But he has me as a friend. And this suits us both. Way back, when I was in the depths of despair over my disastrous pious prius driving buddhist date, he texted me with.......

You're a sweetheart..xx

I promptly locked it down in my phone, never to be deleted because a girl needs to know she is a sweetheart in times of woe. And a girl needs to know she is a sweetheart from some guy who is not trying to get into her knickies. From some guy she can put her faith in. From some guy she can believe every word that comes out of his mouth.

My ever so hot friend of 18 years ago, sends me beautiful messages that lift and restore my faith in me. I love him. I do. I loved him then, as only an 18 year old girl can love, and I love him now, as a woman of more mature years can love with a true heart, one that knows why she loves. This is as true as it gets. He gets me. He got me then, though not in the euphemistic way I might have liked, and he gets me now. He seems to know instinctively what to say, when to say it, and how it will be recieved. And more importantly, why it will be recieved in that way. This is important. My locked down messages from him:

Kisses are all yours sweetheart. *in response to my , im fine but i look like shit and may still need kissing better cos some doctor isnt making me better at all txt*
Im ok. More to the point hows my precious princess? *in response to my going to the doctor yesterday for test results*
You'll be in my thoughts more than ever tomorrow, wish you well. *in response to his text asking after my plans of the day and being told its doctor result day*
Good Morning there precious. You are gorgeous. *in response to my text of 5am wishing his gorgeous self a fabulously succesful day on his huge task he was taking on*


And Jayne, I even lock down messages from Jayne. Only the ones that make me remember why I am even friends with her though. When she has a life better than mine and I am hating her with all the passion I can muster, which, I might add, is an awful lot of passion, I flick through my phone and see her words of wisdome, and true friendship. A Jayne and Princess sort of friendship.

In case he turns out to be a bastard. *in response to my txt to her of why am I even friends with you?*


How bout my friend from sleepy assed fishing village, who actually agreed that should something happen to me, and I cark it, will happily and joyfully and lovingly take my seven year old as his own? How bout that for a friend? I dont lock down messages from him in my phone, they are usually politically incorrect jokes, but I locked down that conversation in my heart. Same place as the locked down messages in my phone went really.


A girl doesnt mind knowing she has a super support network around her. A girl needs a super support network around her. Some of my network is miles away. Some of it is so close I can touch it. Just tonight I wrapped my arms around HIMSELF and told him I loved him. He kissed my cheek. Im lucky. Ive got the greatest friends in the world. I do. Im blessed. I can whinge, I can whine, I can wine, and I can whinge and they love me. Not only do they love me, they tell me they love me every single day.

Sometimes I lock down txts in my phone. Sometimes I lock down conversations I have. Sometimes I just lock down the feelings in my heart. And aint nothing gonna get me to delete them.

Thought for this instant? Thats what friends are for.......