So That Was Weird Right

Ah dinner. Its a funnny way to spend time together. Heres how mine went.

Dinner, was at a trendy on the water spot known for its collection of ugly people full of their own self importance. Or perhaps thats just how I saw it. Ugly people is not kind of me. But, I was the most beautiful one there. And thats not a word of lie or a brag. Trendy people, it seems, are not half as good looking as television leads me to believe. Trendy people though, carry those handbags with the G on it, you must have seen them. And trendy people wear strappy stiletto type shoes. And trendy people wear nothing but black on the girls and brown on the boys. Thats it. Trendy people dont order a vodka straight up. They might drink it, but they give it a strange trendy sort of name, something like, Firecracker....or soemthing like that anyway. I stayed well away from the bar.......

Anyways, so there I am, sitting there with my date. Who I love. He, is now full of MORE self importance because hes sitting there with me, the most beautiful girl in the whole room. Other men were giving him strange looks, you know the one, the one where they decide to themselves that he's either rich or got a super extra huge advantage in their pants to score a girl like that......

Im wearing the best ever 20 bucks I ever spent. Thats my new black dress. Its fabulous. IN fact, the last time I wore that dress I was greeted with the words, My God YOu're Gorgeous. This time I was greeted with the buddhist equivalent of My God You are Beautiful. Beautiful. He calls me beautiful. And dont forget intoxicating. I love him and I want to have his babies.

So anyway, we have a fabulous dinner, we laugh, we tell stories, I do not offend anyone at all, which is apparently a big plus and actually noticed because he suggests I come back to his place ostensibly to see his sustainability projects. This I assume is the meat eating vegetarian buddhist version of offering to show me his etchings. Which Im all for, I mean, I love him. And we have had a great night, and, IM SINGLE DAMNIT, NOT A CAMEL. Im only slightly concerned about the state of Tasmania, but, I figure if Im as beautiful as he says, which I am, then he wont notice and to be honest even though Tasmania was burnt a whole week ago, it feels like its actually on fire after this wonderful evening.....

We head off for a drive in his prius, because I have expressed an interest in it. See how I have cleverly given the man an opportunity to reallllly speak about the things that are important to him? See how good a date I am? Ok so I know Jayne is going to give me a ribbin over the fact that Im actually impressed with said car. But it is mighty impressive all the toing and froin between power saving energy saving fuel saving environment saving bits and peices. I would never own one tho. For a start they cost a fortune, which I dont have. And with all the gadget thingys I would hate to see the repair bill if just one thing busted on it....This is when he tells me a funny little story about a segment they had on south park where they called it a Pious instead of a prius and also said it didnt emit smog into the atmosphere, it emitted smug. I tell him its funny cos its true. Then I tell him that the simpsons did a thing where someone invented a car that runs entirely on the drivers own sense of self importance. He thinks thats hilarious. This could have been a warning sign to me but I missed it. A walk on the beach we have, and he goes in for a very polite kiss. Its very nice. I love him. And Tasmania thinks its a bit of alright too.

Back to his place for a champagne and a spa.......which I have cleverly packed a lil something to wear in the spa for 'just in case' something like this was to come up. Oh its all going swimmingly it really is. Champagne, spa, company that has Tasmania on fire, and this time, in a very very good way. Theres more kissing of course, lots more.

And then it all goes to crap. I should point this out to you. He contacted me. He asked for my phone number. He invited me to canberra. He invited me to dinner. He said I was intoxicating and beautiful. He suggested we go back to his place. He politely kissed me. He 'seriusly with intent' kissed me.......and then he says WE SHOULD STOP. I says...what the? ARe you crazy? Why? Hello, Tasmania on fire here, you want to save the environment right, well how bout a lil bit of putting out the fire? I didnt say that bit out loud of course. I repeated the...what the part a few times. And thats when he says...i dont want to see you on a regular permanent basis.

Ok, he really is an eco warrior, cos that fire in Tasmania, went out faster than Jayne could possibly say IN YOUR FACE. Why am I even friends with her?

What the? What do you mean you dont want to see me on a regular permanent basis? What was all that about? Im not sure. Cos I promptly packed myself up, headed for the car, and left. If he had only kept his mouth shut then I wouldnt be here right now. I wouldnt have rung Jayne on my drive home practically sooking that some meat eating vegetarian prius driving buddhist who says Im beautiful and intoxicating doesnt actually want a ticket to Tasmania. WE finally come to the conclusion that we think I was supposed to say, oh me either, this is just a little bit of a fun fling, nothing to worry about. I certainly dont love you or want to have your babies. Which, I didnt say. I mean, sure, hes a lot of alright, and I love him, ok so he's not Mr Perfect, hes got a few faults, shut up Jayne, but I sure as hell arent about to hand logging rights to Tasmania over to someone who isnt at least Mr Fabulous.