While I was not being in contact with Jack and not looking for questions for The Great Australia Day quiz, I was in gmail, waiting for Jayne to turn up and laugh at me, like she does, why am I even friends with her? I gets this email.
Im in love. I texted Jayne.
Me...Im in love
Her...love? who with?
Me...I dont know, but the emails, my god the emails.
Her..what about Jack?
Me..Who?
Her...Whore
Me...no thers no r and no e on who.
Note, whore? Why am I even friends with her?
She signed in pretty damn quick after that. To hear all about my email I guess. Or live her own life. Who cares, lets get back to my emails.
Lets call him Jack 2.
Jack 2 thinks my profile is witty and intelligent, and loves my bubbly personality and ability to laugh at all things. Jack must be a reader of my blog but I digress. Jack2 is into sustainability and reducing the ever growing footprints in the sand that we leave and reducing the strain we put on our natural resources. And he's an animal lover.
I emailed him back telling him that I wear a size ten shoe and am a shocking water waster, whats more, that if being a shocking water waster wasnt enough, im even proud of it. I told Jack2 that I more than euphemistically have to reduce my footprints in the sand because with a size ten foot, thats a pretty big footprint and its becoming decidely difficult to find shoes to fit me these days anyway.
Jack2 emailed back asking me if I could do anything at all in the whole world what would it be? I emailed Jack2 back and said that I realistically I can do anything in the whole world, but walkin into the biggest publishing house and dramatically dropping my completed manuscript on the desk with one hand and picking up my billion dollar advance with the other I would be the happiest woman in the world, unless you counted my dog, but you cant really count a dog as a woman so perhaps I should re word and be the happiest bitch in the whole world.
Jack2 emailed back and said, that beings as how we are not in 'the hood' we should count the dog as a woman and he would suggest that only the last few contacts between us should contain the word bitch and the first few contacts should focus more on the woman, not the bitch.
YOu can see why I told Jayne I was in love........
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You copy & pasted me ... in a blog?? Why am IIIIIII even friends with you??? He sounds a complete tosser - eco warrior, drinking wine in the spa, drives a pious Prius and he's a meat eating vegetarian Buddhist?? You're right, he does have issues and that the non-meat eating kind.
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