The other day I was chatting with our boyfriend and just happened to mention my cookie *which has been kept in the jar a long time now dammit*. My cookie. Well Ive got news for you lot. After the beautician hacked her way through the forestry of tasmania, that cookie of mine? Its in a fit state to be seen in private again. Yay. Our boyfriend suggested he might like to butter my biscuit.
See, our boyfriend, hes just too polite. Its only very rarely I get knocked off my feet with the stuff that comes out of his mouth. Ok, i always get knocked off my feet when his mouth is moving but that isnt the point. The point is, he wants to butter my biscuit. I have from this second, decided that my cookie is no longer, it shall be forever referred to as my biscuit. And I fervently pray that it gets buttered some time in the near future.
But it got me to thinking, some of the very worst and some of the very best things Ive ever heard have not actually been about sweet things like biscuits and cookies. So why do I now consider this particular not very sweet thing at all, to be very sweet? Cos it came from the mouth I never actually expected to say such things. I guess its time for me to realise our boyfriend isnt the pimply faced teenager he was 18 years ago. See, 18 years ago, nothing like that would have dared to venture forth from his mouth. His mouth was made for sweet beautiful things * like my mouth dammit, shut up Jayne*. And now its all grown up. I have to admit, the idea fairly excites me. Remember I was telling you how he always managed to say exactly the right thing at exactly the right time? Buttering my biscuit would not have been the right thing 18 years ago, today however, its sooooooooo the right thing. He's good isnt he?
Unlike that husband of mine who phoned today, mentioned he misses me and suggested I fly up to Darwin this weekend.....? Hello??? Is anyone home in there??? The only sweet thing to come out of his mouth is, here have some money. And thats about all I can ever hope for from him really isnt it? Him saying he will send me some money. Not the actual money of course. Just the saying he will part. I think its kind of funny he actually still thinks Im gonna fly up to his place for a weekend. Im not about to fly around for a weekend. I know whats on his mind...and I think it might involve a little butter on my biscuit, well tuff luck sunshine! You gave the biscuit away, now you cant butter it.
Chatting with an old friend today, she says, what you need Princess is a man to spoil you. Hell yes I do. I wanna be spoiled. And spoilt. And I want it now.
Thought for this second...>I want my biscuit and I want it buttered too.
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