So I Need To Relieve Myself Right

The last two days Ive spent with a hot water bottle strapped tomy back, unknown untold drugs down my throat and my mobile phone in my hand so I can phone Number One Son to come and 'help mummy'. Mummy, has done her back again. Mummy needs a new one. Mummy isnt about to get one and I havent had a realllly bad back moment in a good 6 months now so all in all Im pretty pleased with myself. However, in just two days, Im drivin my ass to qld, palmin my kids off on their fathers, or their fatheres families and havin my self a holiday, and nothing is going to get in my way of it.

Jayne says possibly my chakra's are all blocked up in nervous anticipation of my impending holiday and I should 'relieve my tensions' in the time honoured way of old. By doing it myself. Good plan Jayne, cept Im fairly certain I couldnt reach that particular chakra if I tried. I may not even be able to reach my own ass at the moment, so my chakra's are not the only thing blocked up.

Oh masturbation, the one thing you can truly rely on hey? Im a single woman, I dont mind admitting Im a fan of masturbation. I have to be. And Jayne is right, my chakra's may well be all blocked up cos remember that vibrator Im not too embarrassed to mention? Little did I know the damn thing glows flourescent pink in the dark and lights up the damn room. Its that bright you could do needlepoint by it if you really wanted to. As such, it doesnt get out of the bedside drawer very often. Or I might find myself explaining alien life forms, ufo's or min min lights to a couple of concerned children who want to know what the glowing light and strange hum coming from my bedroom is all about.......

Which brings me to my pocketnews horroscope of today....coast along tyhis morning; your efforts may not be appreciated until this afternoon when your passion and efforts are recognised and rewarded...................buddy, you must have been peerin through my window cos coast along is about all I can manage today. But its nice to know that this afternoon Im to be rewarded. Which now leaves me wondering just how my passion can be rewarded when my back is in the state it is in........???

If my blog sounds a lil out of joint and mixed up this morning, i blame the drugs. or my blocked up chakra. Or my blocked up ass. Either way, its not reallly my fault.

Thought for this second....Yes please nurse, I'll have another.